Mauve Secrets
by Habeous Corpus
Summary: Rated t just in case. The CBI has suspicions that Jane might be dirty. slight Jisbon, maybe.
1. Chapter 1

Mauve Secrets

Chapter 1

"So, Lisbon." Theresa Lisbon looked up and immediately regretted it. Patrick Jane, a consultant, had a grin on his face like he was about to get in trouble. The funny part was that he had that grin a lot. Jane looked at her with that innocent look, and she knew that her mind was about to be messed with. Van Pelt shot her a look of sympathy. She turned her attention to Jane, but the grin was gone, and in its place a frown. Virgil Minelli was in the doorway, and he looked positively frightening.

"Jane. In my office. Now." The consultant reluctantly obeyed, shuffling off pitifully.

"He's in trouble," Rigsby said.

"No, really? You're a genius. You ought to get promoted," Agent Cho dead-panned.

"It might be for all the cars he crashed. Of course, some of those were my fault," Van pelt said sheepishly. At that moment, Jane reappeared, with Minelli at his heels. Jane headed straight to his desk, and started preparing to leave. Lisbon's first thought was, "Damn! The idiot got himself fired!"

Minelli announced, "Mr. Jane will be taking a temporary leave because, as we all know, the CBI has experienced a lack of cases and money recently. It should not be permanent." With this last sentence, he shot a dirty look at Jane who returned the look.

Cho shrugged and said, "Okay. Just don't do anything stupid, Jane." This elicited a smile from many of the agents. Jane and Minelli made a quick exit. After the pair left, Van Pelt swiveled in her chair.

"We're screwed."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- Two things:**

_**I do not own the rights to The Mentalist. **_**A very awesome person named Bruno Heller does. Mr. Heller, thank you for all you do.**

**Jane is not out of this story! He **_**is**_** the main character, of course. :D**

**I lied. There are three things. : P Thank you so much to all the reviewers!**

**All mistakes are mine, all MINE! (Oops, that is four!)**

**Chapter Two**

An involuntary shiver went down Patrick Jane's spine.He was not scared, or even mildly occupied. In fact, he was bored out of his mind. The shiver was because he was standing in a dark alley at 11:00 at night. Jane would never know how a place so warm and sunny by day could get _so frickin cold_ by night. The distant sound of footsteps and hushed talking reached his ears from the end of the alley. _It was about time they got here… _he thought to himself bitterly. However, on the outside he put on his most winsome smile, as he did every other time. The two men he was meeting turned the corner and greeted Jane.

"How you doin'?"

"Fine, and you, sir?"

"Good. You bring it?"

"All in good time. I did bring it, but I'd like to meet, my, shall we say, _partners._" Jane said the last word as if it was a private joke. He looked into the eyes of the silent man, trying to cold-read him. The man held the gaze for a few moments, and just as Jane had deduced that he had been divorced, the man burst into peals of laughter. "What are you laughing at?" He was not used to such handling.

"Your clothes are crazy, man!" Was it a compliment? "What are you, a pimp?" Obviously not. Jane looked down at his attire and saw his "partner's" point. He _was_ in an all-purple silk suit with his hair slicked back, and even his shoes were a purplish brown. Still, it was rude.

"Are we here to talk fashion or business, gentlemen?"

"See your point, man. Let's do this." He motioned to his partner. "Let's have it." A bag of drugs was produced and traded for Jane's envelope of money. _If only they knew…_

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"So how long do you think Jane will be gone?" Rigsby was pondering the previous day's events over cold pizza.

"I don't know, but I hope we don't get a case while he's gone." The redhead popped her head up from her desk. "We'll look like fools!" Cho just gave them the classic pensive stare that was his trademark.

Just then, Senior Agent Lisbon strode into the bullpen with a folder. "We have a case!"

"Sometimes it's just not your day, Van Pelt," Rigsby said with a laugh.

"More like it's not my week…"

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The playground gave them the chills. It was something straight out of a horror flick: silent birds, creaky swings, and the whole bit. Maybe the creepy feeling was partly because of the dead body hung from the slide, but it was also dead silent. "Dead" would be an appropriate word for the redheaded woman lynched. Forensics was already working the scene, and it was clear that some of the techs were spooked. One reached up to check the corpse's face for injuries. He brushed away a piece of hair, and his hand came away with a mass of red. He flung it away screaming bloody murder, and scurried away as if he had just stolen something. Van Pelt approached the mass with hesitation. She took out a pair of rubber gloves and slipped them on with a puzzled look on her face. Van pelt picked it up and inspected it as if it was form another planet. "It's a wig!" Cho raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Jeez, you'd think it bit him," Rigsby quipped.

Cho remarked, "The resemblance is uncanny." Van pelt just gave him a quizzical look. "You two," he gestured to the corpse and Van Pelt, "even dress alike. The sensible shoes, solid shirts, dark pants, everything. It's down right scary." Van Pelt just groaned.

"I do _not_ need this right now!"

"Quit your griping." Van Pelt whirled around. Theresa Lisbon was right behind her. "Forensics found a wallet at the scene. It belongs to a…" She looked at the piece of paper in her hand. "…Walt Lansing. Cho, go find him and bring him in."

"Will do, boss."

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**Do not worry! I have chapters 3-6 planned completely and the seventh + roughly sketched. Things will get interesting very soon. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- This chapter is set in the next day. I hope I am doing a good job here. (At least my English teacher liked it! XD)**

**Actually, while I have your attention, I need to ask a question. Should any of the main characters die? (Cause I really, really am considering it for my supernova ending. Nevertheless, if not, I will go for a smooth finish.) Please let me know by way of PM or review!**

**Chapter Three**

Theresa Lisbon was not sure if this day was going to be something to look forward to or something to forget. She knew she would not have to deal with Jane because he was on leave. On the other hand, Jane would not be there to see the details and she had to admit, he was easy on the eyes… She signed in, flashed her badge, and said good morning to Midge, the receptionist. A familiar voice greeted her ears.

"JANE! Get your sorry butt home! I told you you were on leave!" The Vice Squad offices on the top floor probably heard Minelli hollering. Lisbon just laughed. One thing Patrick Jane was not was obedient.

As she strode into the bullpen, she had to ask, "What are you doing here anyway?"

Her answer was a wry grin and, "Someone rubbed a lamp."

Minelli repeated, "Go home, Jane. That's an order, for what it means to you." The last sentence carried a sharp edge to it. Jane begrudgingly snatched his jacket and headed to the door. As he crossed the threshold, a woman ran up to him. She was part of the Organized Crime Unit.

"Hi, Jane! Can you do us a favor really quickly?" She needed to switch to decaf. Jane sighed.

"You want me to interrogate a suspect, right? The last time I did that, I was nearly sued by that person's lawyer. Of course," he said with a mischievous smile, "it irked Lisbon. Lead the way!"

"He's in for drug trafficking, and we might have him for murder, but who knows…" The pair went off down the hallway. Lisbon barely had time to shrug off her jacket when she heard them again.

"… body language is hostile! I am not going in there. The task is better suited to someone with a badge and gun, like you."

"He looks harmless!" was her only protest.

"Exactly. He _looks_ harmless. He'll attack the next person that walks in. Now, I'm not exactly sure; I could be wrong. However, I'm not chancing it. 'Bye now!" With that, he was out the door. The woman was standing outside the door to the bullpen, looking very confused. That made two of them: Lisbon didn't understand why Jan refused. Usually he delighted in screwing with dangerous people. Finally, Minelli spoke up.

"Oh, by the way, you have a Mr. Lansing in interrogation with Cho. I was about to inform you of that when the world's most annoying consultant popped up."

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"So, Mr. Lansing. Why did we find your wallet at the crime scene?" Kimball Cho was giving his detainee the glare of death.

"I told you. I lost it yesterday, but hadn't filed a police report on it."

"How come? Your wallet's important."

"Look, if I filed a police report every time I lost something important, I'd be done here practically every other day."

"All right. I'll give you that. Do you know the victim?" With that, he slid a photo in front of Lansing.

"Yeah… She's my ex. She broke up with me six months ago." He seemed very distraught.

"Name?"

"Her name is May Borcky. She's 29; she works at St. Peter's Medical Center…"

"So, what? She breaks off the relationship, and you get a little hot under the collar. You did something rash, maybe."

"No! I would never do that. I know you hear this a lot, but I…" Here he took a deep breath. "…I loved her."

"Where were you 2pm on Thursday?"

"I was at a party with some friends."

"Do those friends have names?"

"Shannon O'Keefe, Derek Shauner, and Daniel Bartley." Cho copied them down.

"Thank you, Mr. Lansing. We'll keep in touch." He left the interrogation room. Something about that little room unsettled him. "Hey, Van Pelt? I have an alibi. Can you check these people out? Lansing was supposedly at a party with them during the murders." He left the scrap of paper on her desk.

Lisbon called to Cho, "Did you get anything useful?"

"Yeah. He's her ex, she worked at St. Peter's downtown, and they broke up six months ago. I don't think he did it, boss."

"Good God, Cho. I already get that line from Jane. I don't need or want you to take his place!"

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**Boy, that ending was horrible. Sorry, y'all, but that's how it goes. I guess. :D The plot bunnies are spurring me on to following chapters… **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N-Okay, ladies and gentlemen, this is where things get interesting! We start out with a **_**major**_** cliffhanger (which won't be satisfied until next chapter) and a wicked plot twist. Actually, it's more of a plot **_**wedgie**_**! Please don't hurt me…:D (BTW, kaithann, I think you are the bomb. Have you been looking at my Magic Notebook? :P Because you are making very good guesses!)**

**Chapter Four**

Patrick Jane was relaxing in the comfort of his own home. Well, it was the closest thing he had to relaxing in this… place. He just couldn't seem to concentrate on the newspaper article he was reading. The walls of the living room seemed to imprison him. Of course, it didn't help that his mind kept going back to that dark night…

Suddenly Jane was jolted out of reminiscing by a crash, followed by swearing. He grabbed his gun out of the end table drawer and cocked it. He wasn't going down without a fight.

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Van Pelt breezed into Lisbon's office triumphantly.

"Uh, Van Pelt? Forget something?"

"Oh, sorry, boss. I forgot to knock." One thing that irritated Lisbon was people just barging into her office.

"It's fine, because I assume you have good news, right?"

"Well, it's good news for Mr. Lansing. His alibi checked out, and we even have photos to prove it."

"Wait, where did you get the photos?"

"I pulled them off of Shannon O'Keefe's MySpace profile. It was one heck of a party, from the looks of it!" Lisbon sighed. She was really hoping he was the murderer. Now what were they going to do?

"Good work. Could you go tell Mr. Lansing he is free to go?"

"Sure." She left the room and closed the door behind her. Lisbon bent over the gargantuan stack of paperwork once again. After getting through a few sheets explaining Jane's latest stunt, she was interrupted by her office door opening again. "What is it with you people and knocking?" she snapped.

Cho ditched the formalities and merely stated, "Another murder, boss. 41 Industrial Way."

"Is it our guy?"

"Probably."

"Let's gear up."

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On the drive there, Lisbon got a call. Forensics wanted to let her know that the prints on the wallet matched the prints on the body. _Finally, a lucky break on the case from hell, _she thought. Then the techie went on to explain that the prints didn't belong to Mr. Lansing, and they were still working on them, with no success to date. _Of course…_

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Colleen Walters; a flirty, once-thriving twenty-two year-old. Her current occupation: hanging from a steel beam at an abandoned warehouse.

"Same red wig and everything, boss. We even found a wallet again," Agent Rigsby informed her. "Chances are it's our guy."

_Why the wig? It doesn't make sense, _Lisbon thought to herself. "Bring the owner of the wallet in for questioning, even though it's probably a dead end."

"Okay, boss."

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Lisbon came out of interrogation with a much-frazzled look about her. Van Pelt looked up from her work as she heard her approaching. "Let me guess," she said leaning back in her chair, "Limbaugh Rouchard is her ex. You want me to check an alibi for the murders, which could be solidified by," she produced a paper with a flourish, "a receipt for a gas station 25 miles away approximately 10 minutes before the murders."

"Is there any way that he could have made it over there in time to commit the murders? Any possible way?"

"Yeah, a divine miracle," Van pelt snorted. She swiveled around in her chair and went back to work. "Oh, by the way, forensics is on line one for you."

Lisbon lifted the receiver. "Senior Agent Lisbon."

"Hello. We have a lead on the case you're working."

"Okay. Shoot."

"The prints from the first crime scene matched the prints from the second. They belong to a Mr. Mark Tileppo."

"Oh, great! We'll pick him up and close this case."

"Ah, Agent Lisbon?" There was an uneasy pause. "One more thing…"

"What?"

"The murders took place this week, but…"

"Come on, spit it out!"

"Mark Tileppo has been dead for the last two years."

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**I told you it would get interesting! Then again, this is nothing compared to what comes up next… I **_**did**_** make this a suspense story after all.**

***laughs diabolically***


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N- This chapter is set 2 hours from the phone call. **

**Chapter Five**

Minelli sat in his office, trying to unwind. He felt a migraine starting, partially because Lisbon had just told him that her team was chasing a murderous "ghost." A faint beeping came from his desk drawer; his cell phone was ringing. He took a deep breath and answered it. "Virgil Minelli, CBI."

"Hello, this is Mercy General Hospital calling about a Mr. Patrick Jane."

"I can't help you."

"You don't understand. Mr. Jane is being hospitalized here, and the CBI is listed as the emergency contact."

_Great. He couldn't spend a single week without pulling something_, _I guess. _"I'll be right there." He hung up. "Lisbon! With me." He grabbed his coat and keys, and hit the door.

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After checking in at the front desk, Minelli and Lisbon made their way to room 204. As they walked down the hallway, they could hear Jane. "You called Minelli?! He is gonna kick my butt! I can hear him now…"

As they approached the doorway, Minelli spoke up, "What have you done now?"

"Oh, dear. I _can _hear him."

Lisbon went to the side of Jane's bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh, nothing serious. The gunshot just grazed me. I'll be back tomorrow." This last sentence was directed towards Minelli. Lisbon got that feeling she always got when Jane just might be hiding something. "The local LEOs called it a domestic break in."

"Lisbon, could you step outside for a moment?" Minelli asked.

"But—"

"Just for a bit, woman! Relax. I'll still be here when you come back." Begrudgingly, she left. Minelli closed the door behind her. As she stood in the hallway, she noticed a doctor carrying a sling coming her way.

The doctor said, "Don't I know you?" She paused and thought. "That's right! You were with that blonde guy who went blind. He was a perfect jerk. No wonder the orderlies were sniggering when I said I'd do the discharge for 204…"

Lisbon laughed. "He's in a much better mood now. By the way, thank you for all you did."

"You're welcome. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to kick him out." She entered the room, and Lisbon followed her. "Here's a sling for your arm," she said as she tossed it on the bed, "and you are free to go." With that, she spun on her heel and hightailed it out of there.

Jane questioned, "What did I do to _her_?"

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"So. Let's review what we know," Cho suggested.

"Okay, Tileppo died in a fire in '07, with drug allegations pending. The charges were posthumously expunged," Rigsby volunteered. "His parents hailed from the Deep South, but Tileppo hailed from The Sunshine State."

"Also, not surprisingly, all the friends and relatives believe him resting with the Almighty. They also describe him as a model citizen, but three assault charges tell me otherwise," continued Van Pelt.

"Let me guess. That's where we hit a brick wall," said Cho. "Any hits on the alert?"

Van Pelt tapped a few keys on her computer keyboard. "No one matching Tileppo's description has been seen as of this moment. Oh, wait. I have an idea. If you give me a second… Damn!" Her screen went bright blue. "Freaking Microsoft. They need to work out all the Blue Screen of Death Errors." She started to restart her computer. "As soon as this hunk of junk gets its act together, I can widen the search areas, because I saw in his file he grew up near San Fran."

Rigsby said, "All right, so basically, we can't do anything until we get a hit on Tileppo."

"Sad to say it, but yes."

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**Thanks for all the reviews! Y'all have foreseen some major plot bugs (especially Ebony10, who wrote a very long review—I read every word!) and made me go:**

***slaps forehead* "DUH!"**

**Thank you so, so much. Jane would be proud! :D **

**(PS--Could not resist the urge to bring the doctor back—love her!) **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Patrick Jane was once again standing in a bitterly cold alley for the second time in a few days. The only difference was that his arm was heavily bandaged and he wore warmer, less disgusting clothes. He was the boss this time, so he couldn't be dressed like a pimp again. The teenagers that were under his command looked up to him. There was a clattering to the left of him. He reached into his front pocket for his switchblade when the figures emerged. "Boys? You scared me!" They were on his side. On the other hand, when you're playing both sides against the middle, what is your side?

"Hey, Mr. Jane!"

"We brought the stuff!" The boys were a flurry of greetings, braggings, and questions.

"All right, hold it!" Jane cut in. "You know the drill." One by one, the boys handed over various amounts of drugs and money. Jane made a mental note to bag it all and send it to the Vice Squad. "Now then, I see I underestimated you all. Good job, all of you. Did anyone have any problems, like cops? Or maybe calculus?" The boys laughed. Then one of them spoke up.

"There was this guy…"

"What guy, Tony?"

"He forced me off the street, man. He was a big black dude with a tattoo of a hammerhead on his elbow." Jane recognized the description; it fit the man who laughed at him the other night.

"I know him. He's a member of our rivals, the Sharks. Yo, Arnold!"

"Yo!"

"Would you see what you can do about him?"

"Anything for you, Jane," Arnold said with a theatrical bow and a grin. Arnold was a big, burly 20-year-old.

"All right. Anything else?" No one spoke up. "Good. Go home and rest. We're going to be in for a helluva ride." The small group dispersed. Jane started to make his way back to his Citroen. He fished out his cell phone, and got into the right frame of mind for the following call .He had to sell the "humble servant" act, or he was dead. He dialed.

A husky voice answered, "Speak."

"Sir? Sir, I have bad news," Jane squeaked, _willing_ his voice to crack.

"Pat? What is it?"

"I was just outside, cruising the block, when I heard some guys talking about you."

"What'd they say?"

"They were planning a hit! I didn't know what to do, so I just got out of there and called you."

"Thank you, Patrick. This calls for retaliation. Tell the others to meet at Passions tomorrow at nine."

"You're welcome. I'll be there, sir!" There was a click as the drug boss hung up. Patrick snapped the phone shut and shuddered. He hated bootlicking little servants, and he hated being one even more.

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The next morning, Jane paid a visit to the CBI building. He needed to talk to Minelli. As he approached Minelli's office, he paused a moment to get his thoughts together. He reached for the doorknob, but Minelli opened the door. "Jane? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Things are getting bad."

"Like I said they would."

"The two gangs are getting ready to attack each other, and I'm getting nervous."

"Jane."

"Yes?"

"Get out there, and do your job. You'll be fine. Trust me." Jane mulled his words over.

"All right. There's a meeting tonight. I'll be there." With that, he turned and left. As he walked outside, he chided himself for being so juvenile. Jane realized that he really didn't want to back out; he just wanted to hear a little support.

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Rigsby had just finished filling out his last piece of paperwork when the phone rang. "Agent Rigsby, CBI."

"This is the Local Police Force. Did you put out an alert on a Mr. Mark Tileppo?"

"Yeah, we did. Any news?"

"Mm-hmm. A person fitting his description was seen on East 42nd Street. He frequents a restaurant there very often."

"Great. The boss will be happy to hear about this."

"Take care."

"You too." Rigsby hung up and headed to Lisbon's office to share the good news.

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The Special Crimes Unit of the CBI was ready for action. Lisbon and Cho were staking out one end of 42nd; Rigsby and Van Pelt had the other.

"You know, this isn't much to go on," Van Pelt pointed out.

"Yeah, but it's _something_," Rigsby said.

"I wonder what would happen if Jane was here."

"I'll tell you: he would've accused a million people of a million things, and we'd be a whole lot farther along because some of those accusations would be right." Rigsby sighed. "Didn't you think that 'temporary leave' crap was bogus?"

"No. The CBI is short on money. I wouldn't be surprised if Jane is axed or has to take a part-time job."

"Hmmm, I hope not."

xxx

"Hey, Lisbon?"

"What, Cho?"

"How about that guy?"

"No, that's not him. Just," she closed her eyes and sighed, "shut up and read your book. It's dark out, and you're seeing things."

"Little tense, are we?"

"Let me rephrase that: shut up and read your book or I'll kick you with Rigsby and Van Pelt."

"I'll shut up now."

"Good."

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After a long and fruitless night, the team straggled into work the next morning. Lisbon was especially disappointed, because she wanted to wrap this one up. She was the first to say that some cases were worse than others were. However, this one was pure hell.

"Hey, boss?"

"What, Cho? If you say 'How about that guy?' I will kill you."

"I was going to ask if we were going to try again tonight."

"Oh." Silently, she berated herself for being so caustic. "Of course we are."

"So, how should we move on with the case?" asked Rigsby.

"Truthfully, I don't think we can. Not until tonight."

"Well, look at it this way: we can get all of our paperwork done!" Van Pelt joked.

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Jane looked himself in the mirror. He had to admit, it was a little better than last time. The purple suit was replaced with a light blue. _Hmm… if I keep this up, my wardrobe is going to look like a crayon box! _He got silly when he was nervous. Jane opened his dresser drawer and began filling his pockets. _Need the wallet, leave the badge at home. Switchblade in the breast pocket; Sig tucked in the small of my back. Am I missing anything? Oh, I nearly forgot._ He needed to bring the "bag of tricks" the vice squad so lovingly entrusted to his care: a duffel bag that could probably be a pseudo-pharmacy. That way there could be no "plausible deniability" for any of these hoodlums. He looked at his watch. Eight-twenty. Just enough time for a quick cup of tea…

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**If you know where this is going, raise your hand! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N- Hold on to your socks! :D Btw, Jane knows nothing about the case. (He hasn't been around to. We'll pretend that for once Cho didn't share the dirty details, okay? Thanks… :D )**

**Chapter Seven **

They were a mixed crew, loitering in front of a restaurant. There were the tough, street-smart guys who you did not want to meet in a dark alley. There were also the guys that wanted to be like said men, but nowhere close. And of course, there was Jane, standing in the middle of the group. He was looking gentlemanly as always, albeit very anxious. He spoke up. "Should we go in there?" The group laughed.

"Naw, man!"

"If you do, I hope you can swim!" At this last comment, the group laughed again.

Jane looked confused. "How come?"

" 'Cause you'll be floating face-down in a reservoir! Nobody goes in until the boss is done eatin'. That's one of the rules."

"Ah, I see."

"How long ya been wit' us? A month? An' you don't know that?"

"Well, what can I say?" Jane was trying very hard to keep his temper in check, but you wouldn't know that from his outward countenance. "So, how do you all think we'll deal with this competition?"

"We'll probably whack them, just like we did those girls," one said.

"What girls?" Jane asked.

"The ones we nailed. Their ex's owed us money for their drugs, so's we killed their girlfriends. What made it even better was the fact that they split over them bein' druggies, ya know?"

Jane was more than anxious now. If they did that to people who owed money, what would they do to a double-crosser? "How did you whack them?" He needed to be prepared.

A little runt spoke up. "We hung them and put a red wig on their dead bodies. That's our trademark, you know." He puffed up his chest with pride. Or was it arrogance? "Then we left their wallets at the scene of the crime to remind them what we did it for. The boss presided over the hit himself." Presided over? What was it, some kind of sick ritual?

At that moment, the leader stepped out. Everyone came to full attention; if you didn't you were done for. "Hello, everybody," he drawled. "How are we tonight?" There were mumbled replies, but he ignored them. "Boys, we've got a problem. Mr. Patrick here," he said as he vigorously thumped Jane on the back, "has alerted me to a big problem."

"What is it, sir?" one asked as if they already didn't know.

"Well, it seems that there is a rival gang that wants to take out the competition, namely, me! I did a little asking around, and I managed to find out a few things. The most important being about the leader: he wears a purple suit and commands a bunch of kids and teenagers." There was hearty laughing from the group. Jane tried to laugh along, but all that came out was a sickly wheeze, which he hurriedly disguised with a cough.

"So's you want us to whack him?" a voice from the crowd suggested.

"That could be an idea…"

_Oh, crap. Think fast, Patrick… _"Ah, I might have a better idea," Jane said.

"Okay. What is it, son?"

"We could kidnap him and drop him off at a police building, say, the CBI offices. They'd have a field day, he'd go to jail, and we wouldn't have to worry about a murder rap." _Don't show fear, whatever you do!_

The boss just started laughing. "My, my, do you have an imagination! Don't get me wrong, I love the idea. But isn't it mighty complicated?"

"Well—"

Jane didn't get to finish his sentence, because he was interrupted by a shout of, "Mr. Mark Tileppo? CBI!" He looked at the direction of the voice. It was Lisbon! What was she doing here?

"Boys, run! The police are here!" Jane took a moment to consider his options. If he ran, he stayed in character. None of the CBI agents would shoot him, because he was their friend. If he broke character, he ran the risk of being popped by one of the gang members. Jane ran like hell and took cover in an alley. As fate would have it, he picked the same alley as the drug boss. Just then, Jane had one of his famous crazy ideas.

"Ah, sir? Who's Mr. Tileppo?"

"That's me, son." _Great. Just freaking great. I have to be stuck with the guy who is wanted by my own team. What a mess this is coming to be…_At that moment, they heard footsteps at the mouth of the alley.

"Mr. Tileppo? Come out with your hands up!" Lisbon beckoned as she walked through the alley.

"Pat! Shoot her!" Tileppo whispered.

"She's a cop!" Jane stalled.

"Fine, I'll do it, you yellow-belly." That was bad. Jane knew that Tileppo would shoot to kill. If he did it, he could intentionally miss.

"No, I got it. I'm no yellow-belly!" Jane withdrew the gun he brought and aimed carefully. He was going for something around the knees, slightly to the right of Lisbon's body. As he stood and fired, two impossible events dovetailed: Lisbon tripped, and the bullet hit her hip right underneath her bulletproof vest. Even thought it was dark, she recognized her shooter. The look on her face as she went down made Jane's head swim. Cho had heard the shot first and dashed into the alley. He took in the scene: Lisbon injured, and Jane with a gun. Cho raised his weapon and fired. Immediately, a burning sensation spread across the left side of Jane's chest. He also felt a strong pair of hands grab him from behind and thrust him forward. Tileppo's retreating footsteps pounded in Jane's ears. Despite the wound, he managed to remain upright and stumble toward Lisbon.

"Oh, dear God!" Van Pelt had come to assist. The shocked look on her face was replaced by a cold fury. She too, fired a round. It hit him square in the stomach. This shot was the last straw for Jane; his knees buckled and he collapsed. The last thought Jane had before blacking out from the agony was: _ I shot Lisbon._

_I shot Lisbon._

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	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

A slow, steady beeping invaded Lisbon's consciousness. _Is that my alarm…? Five more minutes. Wait, my alarm doesn't sound that way… Is it broken? _

"Lisbon?" _What is Van Pelt doing in my apartment?_ "Are you awake?"

Just as Lisbon was about to fry Van Pelt for being in her apartment, she opened her eyes. Lisbon blinked her eyes a few times in amazement. She was in a hospital bed, and the beeping was the heart monitor hooked up to her. "Wha… What am I doing here?"

Cho spoke up from a chair besides her. "You don't remember?"

"If I did, would I be asking how I got here? And where's Jane?" The silence in the room became oppressive. "Well, is _someone_ going to answer my damn question?" Her tirade was short-lived; Minelli burst through the room's door like nobody's business.

"My God, Lisbon! How are you feeling?"

"What do you think? I'm in a hospital bed! And what's going on?" Lisbon fumed.

Minelli just sighed and motioned for Cho to get up. He took Cho's place at the side of Lisbon's bed. "Well, the assignment's over. We arrested all of them."

"What assignment?! Who did you arrest?"

"Be quiet and I'll tell you." Lisbon set aside her fury for a moment, which was easier said than done. "A month ago, the Vice Squad came to me asking for help. Their boys were known around the street, and they needed a fresh face to bring down a few large drug rings. They described the job requirements to me, and I immediately thought of Jane."

"What were the requirements?" Cho asked.

"They needed a smooth operator who could weasel their way in and out of things."

"Yeah, I'd say that's Jane," Lisbon quipped. For some reason, her hip was killing her.

"So anyway, I pitched the idea to him, and he jumped at the prospect. We made a plan together. That was that day he was in my office for forever. Anyhow, the vice squad, Jane, and I put together a plan-of-action. He was to worm his way to the top of the smaller gang, and be the flunky of the larger. Then, when things got going, he was to pit them against each other in a big rumble and then, bam! The police swoop in, arresting them all and sweeping a lot of human trash off the streets," Minelli continued.

"So how did we get involved?" Lisbon asked, her eyelids drooping.

"It turns out that Tileppo had his sticky fingers in a lot of things. We're not sure, but Tileppo was involved in the murders. Therefore, when you guys pulled the bust, you caught Jane at a bad time. And boy, did things go wrong…" Minelli got a faraway look in his eye.

Cho snorted. "That's an understatement. But what I don't get is how come we didn't know anything about this. Jane should've been bragging about this to Kingdom Come!"

"How do you think the Vice people had their cover blown? Other CBI agents outside the op knew, and word accidentally spread. Therefore, for everybody's safety, we set down a rule: Any agent that knew about the assignment other than those directly involved would be fired. Period, end of story, no questions asked. In addition, when things started picking up, I sent Jane away from the agency so that no one blew his cover. That was one of many mistakes I made."

"Oh… That explains a lot," Van Pelt said. "But wasn't Tileppo supposed to be dead?"

"Yes, and we believed that for a while. However, he resurfaced a while ago under a false name. Unfortunately for him, the man whose identity he stole died peacefully in his sleep after being in a coma for 10 years. As you can see, we have a lot to nail Tileppo with. Something's going to stick."

"Okay, that answers most of my questions, but it doesn't answer two: Where's Jane, and what happened to me?" pressured Lisbon.

Minelli sighed and took Lisbon's hand in his. "You need to get some rest. I know this is a lot to process, but you've also been through a lot. Go to sleep." Lisbon willingly obliged.

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**Okay, before you whip out the rotten tomatoes and claws, I would like to call attention to one (subtle) fact: Someone has not been mentioned in the entire chapter who is very important… Where are they??? (Next chapter peeps!)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Final verdict: nobody dies. That will come in another fanfic. :D The answers to my questions are: 1. Agent Rigsby. 2. Read and you'll find out. **

**Chapter Nine**

Agent Rigsby was standing guard outside of a hospital room. Minelli had given him the task after he explained the situation. Turns out Jane pissed off the wrong people. Again. _Christ, couldn't Jane piss off nice, sane people, like paper-pushing cubicle dwellers. And maybe skip the druggies,_ Rigsby thought. He heard a groan from the room's occupant. "Jane?" he called softly.

"Last time I checked, that is my name. Don't wear it out, okay?"

Rigsby laughed at this reply. "You're loopy as hell. Do you remember anything?"

"Unfortunately, everything. How is Lisbon?"

"I can't tell you."

"Rigsby!" A pained expression replaced his usual smile. "I wasn't trying to shoot her! Please, let me explain…" he pleaded.

"No, I can't tell you because I don't know how she's doing. I've been guarding your room. Besides, I know everything. Minelli brought me up to speed."

"Oh. Good. Could you do the same for me?"

"What do you mean?"

"For starters, how am I doing?"

"Well, you're probably the luckiest man on earth. The first bullet from Cho was embedded in your rib. Didn't hit anything, but it's probably making breathing hard."

"Kind of."

"The second miraculously wedged itself between folds of your small intestine; no major damage. They just had to sew up a few things," Rigsby explained.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I think I got that right," Rigsby disclosed with a grin.

"I can handle that. Next question: what were you guys doing there? One moment I'm talking a drug boss out of unknowingly killing me, the next I'm taking potshots at my boss. I mean, that's pretty drastic."

"Your guy was our guy too."

"Huh? I missed something…"

"Just get some rest. You're wasted on painkillers, and I don't feel like explaining everything twenty times."

"Okay." He closed his eyes and Rigsby reassumed his guard duty.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [a week later]

"All right, you look good to go!" the doctor told Lisbon.

"Thanks. I feel a lot better. Is there anything I need to do for a follow up?"

"Yeah: Don't get shot again!" Lisbon just laughed.

"I'll try, but I am a cop. I can't make any promises," she joked.

"You can leave whenever you're ready."

"Thanks." Lisbon wasn't quite ready to leave yet. She had to do something first. Rigsby told her Jane was in room 204, and she wanted to pay a visit.

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"Lisbon! You're all right!" Jane nearly leaped out of the bed greeting her, much to the vexation of the attending nurse.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you took a bullet to the hip?"

"You took two, and you seem to be full of energy!" Lisbon teased.

"Oh, don't I know it," grumbled the nurse as she bustled out of the room. The two were alone in the room for a little bit.

"Hey, Lisbon?"

"Yeah, Jane?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what? Following orders for once?" This conversation was taking a very dark turn, and Lisbon was trying to add a bit of levity. Laughter is the best medicine, right?

"No, for being stupid. I should have shot Tileppo instead. If not something else.

I could have killed you." He looked genuinely distressed.

"Let me guess. You've been replaying the night over and over with different courses of events."

"Yeah."

Lisbon sighed. "Jane, you're acting like I'm dead. Besides," she continued, "what were you trying to achieve with the whole shooting at me thing?"

"Well, Tileppo urged me to shoot you, and I tried to stall. It didn't work, and he said _he_ was going to take the shot. I knew he'd shoot to kill, so I tried to intentionally miss."

"And then I tripped. I am such a klutz."

"Don't blame yourself. I took the shot."

"You were doing your job! I swear, you can be infuriating sometimes. You are your own worst critic."

"Minelli is going to kick my butt for the second time this week," Jane groaned.

"Actually, you're being cited. 'Bravery above the call of duty,' I think."

"In other words, I did something risky that had a good outcome."

"That too." She had to smile at that blunt interpretation. "I personally think you did the right thing," she reassured the consultant.

"Define 'right thing.'"

"What I would do. You almost single-handedly took down two major California drug rings, and you're criticizing yourself. Unbelievable!"

"It wasn't single-handed. The Vice Squad helped a lot."

There was a pause.

"How come Cho and Van Pelt haven't been here? Do they still think I was dirty?" Jane asked.

"No, they haven't been allowed. They shot you, so they don't get to visit." The look on Jane's face could only be described as incensement.

"Find a way to get them in here. I want to talk to them."

"Okay. I'll see what I can do." She leaned over the bed. "Get better. California never stays peaceful for long, and we need you."

"Okay. I'll see what I can do," Jane mimicked. Lisbon just smiled and left.

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"Hey, man. Sorry about the whole… you know," Cho mumbled.

"The shooting thing? Actually, I just have one thing to say."

"What's that, Jane?" Van Pelt asked.

"Superb shots, both of you! What are you guys, snipers? You had milliseconds to react, yet you took two shots each, with two hits! It was pure poetry in motion." Not an ounce of sarcasm could be heard in his voice.

"You're not mad."

"Hell, no. I would've done the same thing if the situation had been reversed. Except I would've aimed for the head. I know I can do it!"

"Then how come you hit Lisbon, if you're such a good shot?" Cho asked.

"She slipped and fell at the _worst possible_ moment. It's no good being a sharpshooter if your target falls into your shot."

"I see."

"I shouldn't have taken the shot."

"Lisbon was right, you are beating yourself up," Van Pelt responded.

"She told you that?" he asked her incredulously.

"We do talk to each other, Jane!"

Jane just frowned. "Besides, I'm not beating myself up; I'm just stating a fact."

"Anyway, Tileppo is getting slammed. He's facing at least 40 years," Van Pelt informed him, quickly changing the subject.

"Good. He's a nasty one. I hated being his little servant."

"You know something? You probably have some good stories to tell," Cho remarked.

"I'd rather not tell them. I did some things I am not proud of during this assignment." There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Uh, Cho? I think we need to leave. We're really not supposed to be here. Lisbon pulled some major strings to let us in," Van Pelt fretted.

"All right. Feel better, man."

"I'll try, but the nurses here seem to hate me! They shoot me glares that would scare pro wrestlers!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx [four weeks later]

Jane was lying on his couch, waiting for the stinging to reside in his nose. He had taken a right wallop from some woman's husband. Turns out that he was abusing her, and Jane noticed it. Jane called him out for it, and the husband confessed. However, not before trying to put a dent in Jane's face first.

"Jane! In my office," Minelli called.

"Am I in trouble?"

"Do you have to ask? You just insulted the attorney general!" Oh, yeah. The husband _was_ the attorney general… Still, there's no excuse for what he did. If given the chance, he'd do it again. Except maybe, he'd duck the second time around.

"Good," Jane told Minelli. "I don't think I have enough in me for another undercover assignment."

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**Finished! *does happy dance* Hope you all liked it. Feel free to build off my idea; just don't be a copycat. ^_^ **

**This story is dedicated to Catherine, my mother. :D**


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